God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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