i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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