I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
