11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
