Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
