When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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