Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
