dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize