He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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