I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
