You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize