I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
