at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
