those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
