his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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