I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
