Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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