do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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