We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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