i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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