Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We had to coat check the pizza.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
