The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
