The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
