I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
