she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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