I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize