i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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