You smell like stripper and shame
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
