my sisters under your porch take her home
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
