i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize