Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
