Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
