I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
