I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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