im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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