so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
