we're blogging at a bar
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
