my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
