Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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