There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
