i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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