wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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