:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize