can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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