Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
