the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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