At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
