It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
