They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize