It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
