I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize