I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize