recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
