Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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