I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
not ubering you a puppy
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
