So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
