But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
