obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So gin and wine won't be happening again
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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