There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
