we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
