his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
