im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
